Saturday, February 27, 2010

This Week in Nelson, volume 4, number 5, 6, 7 & 8

Yeah, yeah. Late again. I am shamed. I’ve been busy, though. Working for a living. Taking what they’re giving. Taking what they’re giving cause I’m working for a living. Whoa-oh. Yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Anyway, let’s try this doing things more regularly again, but this time without fucking it up.

Birthday shout-out to Saira’s mom, grandpa, and cousin! And to Becca and Gus! And to Gaus! Happy birthday!

Books read this week:
-Still reading Chronic City by, Jonathan Lethem
-Still reading I Drink For a Reason by, David Cross
-Finished rereading The Two Towers by, J.R.R. Tolkien
-Reread Return of the King by, J.R.R. Tolkien
-Reread The Silmarillion by, J.R.R. Tolkien

Tolkien, Tolkien, Tolkien, yeah!

Random out-of-context quotes of the week:
--“Immigrants! That’s how they do, you know. Just drive around, listening to raps and shooting all the jobs.”
--“A solitary bean on a fake marble counter top is so sad.”
--“I had knee surgery.”
“Oh! I better not touch it.”
“No, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“No! If I touch it, I might have to have knee surgery too!”
--“I can’t keep holding you if you won’t stop screaming.”
--“I need to tell her what time it is. You know. That I’m gay.”
--“It’s great doing this. I remember releasing, and then I remember getting, just, SLAMMED in the face by one of those balls. That was a nice shot, Lace. You’re a stud.”
--“We need to go back to those pissant vulcanologists.”

My Emails to Bill O’Reilly this week:
-“Dear Mr. O’Reilly,
Are you friends with Steve Wilkos? Cause, you both have TV shows, and you’re both big and strong, and you both help people. And you were both former bodyguards on Springer.
So, do you guys hang out a lot? Do you go fishing? Can I come? I’ll even bait the hooks and clean the fish. And whichever one of you catches more fish, I’ll totally reward them (you) with a kiss! I’ll also bring the beer and pretzel chips! And, of course, the STRING CHEESE! (Wink!) LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!
Smell you later, bro!
17 February 2010"

Interesting news articles of the week:
-Damn, fucked up the news again. Sorry. Next time?

Something(s) I’m tired of/ mad at:
-Commercials. Most of them. Tired of them. Ugh.

Something(s) I’m delighted by:
-Saira! She makes the most delicious foods. She’s been experimenting with making pizzas from scratch and taking them in interesting directions, like Thai Curry pizza with peanut sauce instead of tomato. So good!
-Lost. Feels like she’s finishing strong. It’s really the only show I still absolutely care about and can’t wait to see.
-KU Basketball. Rolling through the Big 12. And, I got to go see both the Iowa State and Colorado games at the Fieldhouse with Saira and her family, which was crazy awesome. I’d never seen a men’s game at the Fieldhouse before, so it was extra sweet. However, this Oklahoma State game is really pissing me off.

Something(s) I found really kind of odd:
-The opening ceremony for the Olympics, and men’s figure skating.

This Week in Answers to Your This Week in Questions This Week!
--“So I had a sudden flash of inspiration while driving home: Beard phone!
The idea is essentially you shove a specially contoured phone into your beard, which has a microphone by the mouth and earpiece close to the ear all cleverly concealed in your beard! It’s simplicity at its best, and you could even construct faux beards for the beard-impaired so they can enjoy it as well.
So the real question of this is: Why haven’t you patented and marketed this? I can’t help but assume you’ve already thought of this and worked it through. What’s holding back this phone/beard revolution?”
-I’m just waiting on some investment capital to build the prototypes. You got a few grand laying around you want to invest in beard phones? Anybody?

Nelson recommends:
-Morningstar Farms Bacon. It’s fake bacon, but it’s the goods.

Saw Wolfman. Not really a good movie, per se, but it looks beautiful, there’s wolfmans going on killing sprees, and it’s balls out insane. So, I enjoyed it.
Been watching a shitload of Olympics. Curling, that’s a good game. Saira and I want to take up curling. For reals.

Okay, I gotta watch the end of this shitstorm of a basketball game and go pick up Saira from work, so I’m out.

See you next week.

–> N.

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