Why, hello there. It’s been a long time. A long, long time. I was busy. What with the moving, Christmas, life, blah, blah, blah thing. Many of you have written and phoned, wondering what the fuck was going on. Wondering if this was the end of TWiN as we know it. As we love it. As we need it. I assure you this is not so. Are we back? Yes. Are we better than ever? Not really. Will we be meeting regularly again after this? Yes, we will. Though, I’ll be totally honest. This Week in Nelson may well start being more These Weeks in Nelson, coming every two weeks instead of every week, but I’ll do my best to keep to my every week mission statement. And I’ll do my absolute best not to let it go longer than two weeks again. There you have it. Our oaths are renewed. You’ve waited long enough, so here we go. This week we’ve got a lot of catching up to do!
Birthday shout-out to my mom, Jesus, Jen, Sam, Chris Shaw, Gary, Stange, Aaron, my dad and Hilary! Most of them belated, but better late than never! Huzzah!
Books read this week:
-Finished reading Fates Worse Than Death by, Kurt Vonnegut (finally!)
-Still reading Chronic City by, Jonathan Lethem (To be honest, I never really began.)
-Finished reading some collections of Jamie Delano’s work on Hellblazer
-Still reading I Drink For a Reason by, David Cross
-Reread The Hobbit by, J.R.R. Tolkien
-Reread The Fellowship of the Ring by, J.R.R. Tolkien
-Started rereading The Two Towers by, J.R.R. Tolkien
Saira had the idea to reread The Lord of the Rings over winter break, which I thought was a good idea, too (though I also decided to start with The Hobbit). So, that’s what I’ve been doing, reading-wise, for the most part. I hadn’t read them in, I’m guessing, 17-18 years. Love those books. Don’t know why it’s taken me so long to come back to them. They’re fucking great.
Random out-of-context quotes of the week:
--“I’m taking this dress off. It’s covered in blood and urine.”
--“That robot handyman is having a good time.”
--“You wouldn’t expect there to be a drug culture in the opera scene, but there’s a crazy drug culture in the opera scene.”
--“All my life I’ve been looking for a woman with plain hair, a strong jaw and a personality to match.”
--“They’ve been acting really weird. It makes me wonder why they’ve been pooping so much. It makes me wonder why they’ve been pooping so much LATELY.”
--“So, you bought your 10-year-old son a gun AND a crossbow?”
“No!!! Grandma bought him the crossbow.”
(Grandma nods while checking the prime rib.)
--“Did you hear me say I don’t like German people or the Japanese? I didn’t in any way say that. I like them the same as Irish people. And most Mexicans.”
--“Are there any other straight girls who like big boobs? . . . I read a summary of Hitler’s sex life (in a book full of such summaries) that . . . but what those two pigeons did was certainly awful . . . It was more like vegetable oil than it was like, say, coconut milk . . .”
--“Fisting!? Oh, wait, no. I read that wrong. It says ‘The Mighty Ducks.’”
--“2 approaches to poundage progression, and how to make sure the gains keep coming for a long time.”
--“We might need to take another picture after I get this all juicy.”
--“‘yes, ‘tis magic, lad,’ the old man rasped, ‘pirate magic.’”
--“I wish my feet were boners. I would do you so hard right now.”
My Emails to Bill O’Reilly this week:
-“Dear Mr. O’Reilly,
I do not sleep.
I wait.
See you soon!
Sincerely,
Roboman
14 January 2010"
Interesting news articles of the week:
-Man, way behind on news. I’m just gonna skip it and start fresh next time.
Something(s) I’m tired of/ mad at:
-Eh, I’m good. There was some insane cold awhile back that I was both mad at and soon tired of, but that wrapped up a couple weeks ago, at least.
Something(s) I’m delighted by:
-Saira! For a million reasons, but to name the most recent one, she even makes spending time in Great Bend, Kansas fun. And, she’s made, like, a dozen pies since we moved in together. Love her, love her, love her.
Something(s) I found really kind of odd:
-oldtimestrongman.com
-I had all kinds of stuff for this, but I’m afraid that the delay in TWiN caused me to lose them, or lose track of which ones I might have mentioned before, so I’m just going to start fresh with this section next time, too.
This Week in Answers to Your This Week in Questions This Week!
-Really, the only questions I got over all that time we were apart were about where TWiN was. It’s right here. Questions answered.
Nelson recommends:
-New Super Mario Bros. Wii. That’s a fun game, and it’s really fun with multiplayer.
-Scotland Yard. It’s a board game. It’s fucking sweet.
-The Lord of the Rings by, J.R.R. Tolkien. Seriously, if you’ve never read them, you really ought to. They’re fantastic.
So, a lot has happened since last we spoke. I’ll try for a quick recap:
-Saira and I moved into our new apartment in Village Square together. It’s a nice place. And Saira keeps us in hot and cold running pie, which is great. There’s been pecan, cranberry chess, key lime, cherry, citrus chiffon, apple cinnamon crumble, apple pandowdy and blueberry, and several of those there’s been two or more of. So much pie!
-Christmas happened. Got some books and money, mostly, from the family. Saira gave me a bunch of sweet stuff, but the sweetest was a build-your-own voice-activated robot. His name is Mini-Vox. The cats aren’t sure what to think of him. He is the future, and the future is now.
-Got an Xbox 360, which is sweet. Saira and I have been playing mad video games. Mostly GTA4, Left 4 Dead 2, Fallout 3 and NCAA Basketball 10. Nothing original, I guess, but all of it awesome.
-There was a shit-ton of snow. It was pretty awesome. I love snow. And it was nice to see that my car can handle its business in some fairly serious snow.
-New Years. Drinking. Yeah!
-KU basketball, barring the Tennessee game, have been looking pretty awesome. Especially that last game against Missouri.
-Got to see Willie and Stu over the holidays, which was great. Always good to catch up with friends.
-We got a couple digital 3-D-capable projectors at work, which is cool. Did I mention that before? I don’t even remember. Saira and I are planning on seeing Avatar in 3-D soon. We haven’t had a chance yet. But soon!
-Saira and I started our last semesters at KU. She much more than I
-Saira and I celebrated our six-month anniversary by taking an overnight trip to Great Bend (she had business there). In fact, we just got back from that a couple hours ago. She’s napping now. Great Bend? Not bad. Much better, I’m sure, for having been there with Saira. There’s apparently a chain of Mexican places in Western Kansas called La Fiesta which look a lot like El Mezcal, and the one in Great Bend has phenomenal food. If you find yourself there, check it out. Also, the breakfast buffet in the Highland Hotel and Convention Center? Not bad. Not bad at all.
-We followed it up with a trip to Eagles Day here in Lawrence. It’s pretty cool. They’ve got eagles and hawks and owls hanging out at Free State High School. It was pretty cool to see a bald eagle up close. They’re majestic as all hell.
-I haven’t trimmed my beard since the last TWiN, so it is full and magnificent, and will soon rule above us all with a terrifying, beardy fist.
I’m sure there was more than that, but that’s all I’ve got for you now.
See you next week. Ish. Hopefully.
–> N.
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