Wednesday, August 12, 2009

This Week in Nelson, volume 3, number 32

I looked death in the eye this weekend and death blinked first! Well, death is a strong word. I just had an insane fever for three days. But I’m cool now. They got me on some hardcore antibiotics. So let’s do this thing! This week we’ve got

Birthday shout-out to Ric, belatedly! Also, a birthday shout-out retraction, as apparently Facebook lied and last week wasn’t Laura’s birthday. Happy birthday! (Or not!)

Books read this week:
-Still reading Fates Worse Than Death by, Kurt Vonnegut

I couldn’t read! My brain was on fire!

Random out-of-context quotes of the week:
--“This just proves what I’ve always said: orphans are terrible.”
--“Your plan isn’t just falling apart, it’s being ripped apart by giant bugs!”
--“Did the sun blow up or was that just a dream?”
--“One should not scream ‘I want tacos!’ really loudly in Uganda...”
--“Where are you calling from?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” (He was calling from a cyborg dog)

My Emails to Bill O’Reilly this week:
-“Dear Mr. O’Reilly,
Hate to bother you with another medical question, but I can’t really fit in a doctor visit right now. Can you just tell me what this is on my penis?
(Pasted in here was a picture of a penis infected with syphilis, which I spare you)
Thanks for your help!
12 August 2009"

Interesting news articles of the week:
-“The Wisconsin State Fair introduced two new taste treats this week: chocolate-covered bacon on a stick, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep fried.”
-“China released a list of 100 health requirements for would-be astronauts. Candidates for future space missions must have no scars, cavities, runny noses, or bad breath. ‘The bad smell would affect their fellow colleagues in a narrow space,’ said health official Shi Bing Bing.” (Two things: no runny noses when applying, when going to space, or ever? And, there’s a health official for the Chinese space program that’s a panda?)

Something(s) I’m tired of/ mad at:
-9th Street! It’s all better now, but it’s staying on for one last week because it fucking deserves to after what it put me through.
-Illness. It’s bullshit.

Something(s) I’m delighted by:
-The dinner Saira made last night. It was this chicken curry dish (the exact name escapes me) that was so delicious it was by far one of the best things to have ever been in my mouth. And she made a cherry pie for dessert! And she looked after me while I was sick! She’s the best girlfriend ever!
-SciFi’s (fuck you, Syfy) insane Saturday night original monster movies. So much fun.

Something(s) I found really kind of odd:
-The movie K-9000. Which is from the K-9 series, but the dog is a cyborg. Weird fucking movie.

This Week in Answers to Your This Week in Questions This Week!
--“I got nothing.”
-Then neither do I.

Saw Funny People last week. It was a good movie. I really enjoyed it. Gonna see District 9 tomorrow. I’m excited to see that bad boy. I’ll let you know how it is.

All right. That’s enough for now. I’m still getting my strength back.

See you next week.

–> N.

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